Live Blogging the 84th Annual Academy Awards (#Oscars) | Tv Food ...

7:15am ? Up and making food for the day. I?m officially my grandma.

8:45am ? MG wakes up and, with his breakfast, trumps my entire morning?s work in all of twenty minutes.

9:00am ? MG and I sit down to breakfast while watching The Planets on The Science Channel. MG has an honest interest in the temperatures on other planets (?Wow! I could watch this ALL DAY!?). I?m afraid to tell him I?m only watching it to get it the hell off my DVR before the 12 hour Oscar coverage onslaught begins in less than an hour.

9:50am ? I wonder why after 90 minutes of cooking I still can?t smell the Spanish style tomato, orzo and jalapeno soup from the kitchen.

9:51am ? I plug in the Crock Pot.

9:56am ? I go into the bathroom and ask MG if I can take a picture of him taking his Oscar shower for posterity. His reply: ?I am not TV. I am not food. I am not drink.?

11:52am ? My sister arrives from Claremont and we argue over whether we will do our Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay beauty mask treatment before or after the Red Carpet starts.

11:55am ? the Hollywood animal trainer being interviewed by Ross the Intern mentions that he trains animals from We Bought a Zoo. My sister and I recall that?s movie final gross and give each other the sad doll face, then snicker.

12:02pm ? I tell Jodi that MG and I watched Harry and Tonto last night featuring an Oscar-winning performance by Art Carney. Jodi gives me the ?I?ve never heard of that movie? face, and I reply, ?Art Carney goes across the country with his cat and has interesting adventures,? and she nearly spits her Diet Coke out on my carpet.

12:15pm ? Jodi reads the label on the Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay beauty mask treatment. ?It?s the strongest beauty mask in the world! Wow, Gary where dod you get this?? I answer, ?Ralphs!?

12:35pm ? There?s a monkey in a dress on the tv. Jodi: ?Some day all Hollywood movies will star monkeys.?

1:02pm ? E! is showing the kiss between Jonah Hill and Russell Brand from Get Him to the Greek. I ask Jodi who she?d rather kiss if she had to. She says, ?I?d always go for the fat geek over the dirty creep.?

1:08pm ? Me: ?Geez. They have to showcase the one guy from Glee I probably wouldn?t sleep with.?
Jodi: ?He?s singing with Kermit the Frog? That?s not doing anything for you??

1:24pm ? E! begins their Victoria?s Secret mini fashion show. ?I don?t know what this has to do with the Academy Awards. ?The rep from Victoria?s Secret says that?s it?s important that ?things underneath aren?t allowed to move around.? ?I ask Jodi, ?Do you have to worry about things moving around?? ?Jodi: ?I?ve had four kids. ?EVERYTHING moves around.?

1:44pm ? Jodi re: Ryan Secrest. ??That guy sweats money. ?Seriously, he steps out of his car and makes a million dollars. ?It?s bullshit, man!?

2:20pm ? Some of this goes in our mouths. Some of it goes on our faces

3:48pm ? my pores are now Oscar-worthy
3:54pm ? Me: ?Oh, dear that?s not working.? Jodi: ?I TOLD YOU! Also, I don?t like her bangs. And another thing? do you think the fat wives of the directors feel awkward showing up at these things??

3:56pm ? Jodi: ?Well look, HER dress works because she?s fat but it makes her look skinny.? Me: ?You really cut right to it, don?t you?? Jodi: ?I know. It?s why people don?t like me.?

4:20pm ? Ryan Seacrest just earned nine million more dollars having Sacha Baron Cohen?s Dictator spill Bisquick all over him.

5:10pm ? Me ? ?These fashion reviews. It?s just a bunch of women indulging in high school bitchiness?? Jodi ? ?Oh yeah! We never grow out of it.?

5:38pm ? Me: ?We?re not gonna be checking in with Carl all night, are we?? ?Jodi ? ?I hope not.?

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Posted in TV Now 1 day, 5 hours ago at 9:44 am. Add a comment

Source: http://tvfoodanddrink.com/2012/02/oscars/

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